Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize