tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
