My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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