There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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