In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
