Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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