last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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