So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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