Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
