i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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