I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Randomize
