I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
