me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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