you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
