it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
