Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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