Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She's not a foreskin expert like you
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
