My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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