let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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