shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I would fuck him just for his dog