can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason