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My girlfriend figured out who you are.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
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