i permit you to call me
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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