I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So many bounce houses so little time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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