Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Randomize