Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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