they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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