im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
