38 yer olds are good kisserssss
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
