This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
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The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
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I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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