i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
