Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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