To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
