why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
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I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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