I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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