dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
