if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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