Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
