Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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