Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
