covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
