I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
