fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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