When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
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I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
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You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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