happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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