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i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You can't just leave with hair like that
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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