he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize