Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked." http://tfl.nu/ikiz
  Replies (37) Good night (4983) Bad night (736)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter... http://tfl.nu/rvqi
  Replies (24) Good night (5639) Bad night (877)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes. http://tfl.nu/4wgk
  Replies (45) Good night (29078) Bad night (2384)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?" http://tfl.nu/lg4y
  Replies (20) Good night (1194) Bad night (5898)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral. http://tfl.nu/3rm8
  Replies (5) Good night (1406) Bad night (4059)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing" http://tfl.nu/qoaq
  Replies (9) Good night (4453) Bad night (1092)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party. http://tfl.nu/nzty
  Replies (5) Good night (1824) Bad night (1011)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit

  (216): View more from Ohio

  There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit (216): There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash. http://tfl.nu/emo5
  Replies (6) Good night (3419) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future http://tfl.nu/peo6
  Replies (4) Good night (1152) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose. http://tfl.nu/kcg6
  Replies (8) Good night (1510) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics. http://tfl.nu/2iwb
  Replies (4) Good night (612) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business. http://tfl.nu/y67z
  Replies (4) Good night (742) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it. http://tfl.nu/pw43
  Replies (4) Good night (980) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME http://tfl.nu/1892
  Replies (4) Good night (601) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin http://tfl.nu/3xwn
  Replies (5) Good night (295) Bad night (823)

Randomize