he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?