Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.