Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.

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  (773): i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink. http://tfl.nu/eils
  Replies (25) Good night (3428) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right

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  (513): Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner. (615): That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right http://tfl.nu/5ajr
  Replies (15) Good night (2440) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.

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  (806): with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible. http://tfl.nu/qot7
  Replies (31) Good night (10300) Bad night (1271)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source

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  (813): literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source http://tfl.nu/0y8j
  Replies (14) Good night (1066) Bad night (3615)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.

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  (650): It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water. http://tfl.nu/g5w6
  Replies (14) Good night (807) Bad night (2671)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here

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  (850): There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here http://tfl.nu/c3ng
  Replies (14) Good night (2364) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".

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  (810): you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here". http://tfl.nu/11k9
  Replies (5) Good night (2503) Bad night (967)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  peace be with you.

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  (860): you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice (1-860): peace be with you. http://tfl.nu/ffop
  Replies (3) Good night (2212) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.

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  (240): Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird. (434): Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls. http://tfl.nu/td3o
  Replies (12) Good night (3499) Bad night (810)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.

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  (631): Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition. http://tfl.nu/xj5o
  Replies (3) Good night (1579) Bad night (526)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there

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  (617): There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there http://tfl.nu/2ki5
  Replies (1) Good night (848) Bad night (441)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.

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  (303): Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/mon2
  Replies (7) Good night (668) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag

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  (402): Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag http://tfl.nu/vpku
  Replies (1) Good night (462) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.

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  (209): Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment. http://tfl.nu/2qw0
  Replies (2) Good night (825) Bad night (279)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat

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  (860): You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat http://tfl.nu/0bsb
  Replies (0) Good night (253) Bad night (170)

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