We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
His nipple licking is glorious
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