Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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