So drunk its hurt
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Of course I have a pirate flag
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
