Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize