What did we do last night that was yellow?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
