Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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