hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
