I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
